After the towers fell, old friends in Morgantown startedcalling: Are you safe? Where were you when it happened? Did you — here, they often paused, barely able to comprehend the thought — see it? To that last one, yes. I live in Brooklyn, just across the harbor from lower Manhattan, and after the second tower was struck, I walked afew blocks to a small waterfront park near a hospital, where I and 50 or so of my fellow New Yorkers watched as the first tower collapsed. At that point, itbecame obvious to us that the second would, too, eventually; I actually began to get sick to my stomach, and decided I didn't want to see it live. I walked home. The prevailing winds that day were southeasterly, which is to say, right at me, and by the time I got to my apartment — say, six minutes — my arms were covered in ash. All the clichés about national unity, about Americans discarding their usual animosity toward New York and agreeing that we'd become one people, were, at the time, true. My childhood friends, Stuey and Goose and the others, were every bit as shaken as I was. In the larger world, Southern conservative senators not previously known for their enthusiasm for sending money to New York City ponied up; staffers for Alabama Republican Jeff Sessions brought Hillary Clinton's people sandwiches and helped them answer phones. And New Yorkers themselves, in their horror and anger, were united, which even from the vantage point of Charleston you can guess is not something that happens often. Now? The cliché still gets plenty of air time — under circumstances like these, the mass media want to establish a story line that is
oothing (and that will get ratings). But the truth that I see and feel as I watch the political process and maneuver around this city is different. When President Bush blocks a $5.1 billion spending package, some of which was for improved communications equipment for New York firefighters, it's hardly going out on a limb to observe that the usual push-and-pull of domestic politics has reasserted itself. And as far as New Yorkers are concerned, well, obviously, those who lost a loved one or who experienced the terror first-hand still must feel tremendous pain. But as for the rest of us, the attacks are no longer the tuff of daily or weekly conversation, and in my experience haven't been for ome time. Given the constant media drumbeat — there are several 9/11 tories in the New York papers every day — one feels it's somehow wrong, or at least impolite, to suggest that things might be more or less back to normal. But I argue the opposite: Normalcy is good, and needed. The press of life makes demands of us, a vital one of which is that we survive and carry on. It also permits us our peculiarities, and among those, surely, is the truth that all of us heal in our own ways. One man remarries three months after his wife dies; another mourns for five years. The latter is no nobler than the former. It's just that they came out of the womb with different emotional equipment, which they put to use as best they can. So it has been in New York this past year. At first, the attacks represented a single, shared tragedy; a great civic cataclysm. But as time has passed, it has come to feel as though New Yorkers have reacted to the event more personally; now, there is not so much one overarching narrative as there are 8 million individual ones. Which means two things. First, that we have, on some level, gotten back to normal, and second, that there is no consensus yet about how the attacks affected us (evidence for this can be found in the robust arguments over what to build — or not — on the World Trade Center ite, a debate mired in a bureaucratic death struggle with which New Yorkers are all too familiar, which is itself a sign of normalcy). I still think, occasionally, of that ash on my arms, or my old friends' phone calls that day. And when I see an airplane over the skyline, I tend to watch it for five or six seconds, just to make sure it seems to be doing what airplanes are supposed to do. But otherwise, I enjoy this remarkable, strange, stressful, beautiful place, and I believe that enjoying it is the best thing all of us, New Yorkers and visitors, can do for it. Morgantown native Michael Tomasky is a columnist for New York magazine.