When all else fails, roll out “Readers’ Vent”

By As I work this keyboard, it’s 11 p.m., I’m tired and out of ideas, and my deadline is fast approaching.

So I guess it’s time to get all “interactive” and get my readers involved in filling this space while elevating the discussion of current events through the exchange of terse, contentious, undocumented and unsigned messages in my inaugural Sunday edition of Readers’ Vent:

n To the man in the white Dodge Ram pickup who flipped me off when I stared at him in disgust for eating a Tudor’s biscuit sandwich while talking on his cell phone as he was driving in the passing lane on I-64 on Wednesday morning: You must be “Dottie” to be choking down a “Ron” as you “Rocket” down I-64 in rush hour traffic. If I see you again, prepare to put up your “Dukes” if the State Police don’t give you a “Tootie” on their sirens first. Eat up, then hang up and drive, biscuit brain!

n I see where Hillary Clinton is bent out of shape about someone tossing a shoe at her during a speech. What’s the big deal? In my day, shoes were hard to come by. We would have been happy get a new one regardless of whether someone handed it to us, threw it at us, or dropped it on us from an airplane. Just be glad your newest shoe wasn’t a steel-toed boot! You need to find something important to bellyache about if you expect to get elected president!

n Rush said it, Hoppy tweeted it, I believe it, that settles it. ‘Nuff said!

n What’s gotten into people that they have to curse to try to get their point across while discussing all the natural gas drilling that’s going on in our area? It’s always ‘fracking’ this and ‘fracking’ that! Disgusting! Thank goodness my children were raised better!

n Help! Does anyone know where I can get a tasteful neck tattoo of the West Virginia Mountaineer with ramp juice in the ink?

n Is there some way to get Jeb Bush to take up portrait painting before the Iowa caucus begins?

n It’s not rocket science, people! My mom keeps things simple — she votes straight Republican for candidates and straight “no” for ballot issues. I think she’s on to something!

n To the Readers’ Vent person who said their mom voted straight Republican and straight ‘no.’I think you misspoke: I don’t think your mother is on to something - I think she’s on something.

n To the lady I flipped off for gawking at me while I ate breakfast and used the phone while driving to my second job: Why don’t you keep your “Big Tator” out of my truck’s window and “Miner” own business?

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