Don Surber: An easy test for Obama’s low-information voters

Two weeks after President Obama’s re-election, the Hill, a publication that overs Congress exclusively, explained why he won: low-information voters.

“Low-information voters trend younger and are more likely to be unmarried. They typically remain at least nominally ‘undecided’ until the bitter end, and generally do not read or watch extensive political or news coverage,” the Hill said.

Few Republican voters fall into this category, but the Hill reported: “Democrats -– Barack Obama in particular -– go after these voters with gusto.”

To help low-information voters become educated and hence, Republican voters, I offer this simple civics test -- so simple that the answer to each question is always C.

1. According to a Washington Post report last Sept. 23, sea ice in Antarctica was:

A. Melting faster than the Wicked Witch of the West.

B. Raising the world’s sea level by 477 millionths of an inch a year.

C. At a 35-year high.

2. According to columnist Heather MacDonald, rapes reported by college women are:

A. All true.

B. Proof of inequality in a heteronormative patriarchy.

C. 400 times greater than the rate of rapes reported in Detroit.

3. The Wall Street Journal reported the claim that women earn 77 cents for every dollar a man makes is:

A. True.

B. Proof of inequality in a heteronormative patriarchy.

C. Based on differences in hours worked, skills, risks and responsibilities that have nothing to do with prejudice.

4. According to the Congressional Budget Office, Obamacare will:

A. Save taxpayers money, as the president promised.

B. Be revenue neutral.

C. Add another $1.383 trillion to the national debt in the next 10 years.

5. According to the FBI, since the federal assault weapon ban expired in 2004, the murder rate nationally:

A. Rose 17 percent.

B. Stayed the same.

C. Fell by 17 percent.

6. According to the secretary of state’s office in Texas, voter turnout after voter ID passed:

A. Fell.

B. Stayed the same.

C. Nearly doubled from 672,874 voters in the 2011 to 1,099,670 in 2013.

6. The first president to appoint a billionaire to his Cabinet was:

A. Ronald Reagan.

B. One of the Bushes.

C. Barack Obama.

7. This month, Bain Capital’s top lobbyist golfed with:

A. Former Bain CEO Mitt Romney at the Mormon Tabernacle Golf Course.

B. Jim Justice at The Greenbrier Resort.

C. President Obama at the Robert Trent Jones Golf Club in Gainesville, Va.

8. According to a study led by global warming proponent John Cook of the University of Queensland of 11,944 peer-reviewed papers on climate over the last 21 years:

A. 97 percent concluded that man’s release of carbon dioxide is killing the planet.

B. Make that 32 percent.

C. Less than 1 percent as only 41 of 11,944 papers explicitly stated that mankind caused most of the warming since 1950.

9. Forbes magazine counted and found the number of billionaires invited to the White House by President Obama is:

A. One, Commerce Secretary Penny Pritzer.

B. Two, Pritzer and Warren Buffett.

C. “Well over 100.”

10. Under Obama, the gap between the rich and the poor has:

A. Never been smaller.

B. Not changed.

C. Risen even higher.

11. According to Rep. Joe Garcia, D-Fla.:

A. Communism failed.

B. Democrats vigorously oppose communism.

C. “We’ve proved that communism works. If you give everybody a good government job, there’s no crime.”

12. Which 2016 presidential candidate said in running for the Senate, “Marriage has got historic, religious and moral content that goes back to the beginning of time and I think a marriage is as a marriage has always been, between a man and a woman.”

A. Rick Perry.

B. Jeb Bush.

C. Hillary Clinton.

If you scored 100 percent, congratulations. You understood what “the answer to each question is always C” meant.

If you scored less than 100 percent, you are doomed to be a lifelong Democrat.

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