Help us name the West family's new cat
Somewhere inside Charley and Ginny West's little box home on the front page of the Charleston Daily Mail ...
Ginny: Charley! Wake up!
Charley: Oh! Thank goodness! I was having the weirdest dream. We'd been living in the bottom right hand corner of a newspaper in this little box. I made the silliest comments about the news.
Ginny: Uh, yeah. That's real life, mister. Hey, I want to talk to you about something. Remember when we hit our 40th anniversary as a newspaper feature and we got a dog?
Cap West: That was a capital idea!
Ginny: Yes, that's what you said back then.
Charley: What are you getting at?
Ginny: I have an idea that will "cat-apult" us to the next level -- I mean, the next level of humorous newspaper box-dwellers. You know what I mean.
Charley: Yes. You mean you want to get a cat.
Ginny: How did you know?
Charley: Look, I'm a professional punster. You don't just SAY "cat-apult."
Ginny: Yes, I would like a cat. But it's more than just that. This newspaper is about to celebrate its 100th year. Its centennial! And when we reach milestones, we Wests celebrate by getting new animals.
Charley: I prefer to celebrate in that one panel where I'm sitting in the baby pool.
Ginny: OK. That's you. And, for the record, that's weird. Are you still not convinced?
Charley: I think your idea might be cat-astrophic. Sorry, I can't help myself.
Cap: I don't think cat-aclysmic is too big a stretch.
Ginny: I thought you might have your doubts. That's why I want to make a visit to the animal shelter.
The family climbs into Charley's car, heads down Virginia Street and makes a dangerous left turn onto Greenbrier, narrowly missing a few lawmakers on their way to work at the Capitol. They pull over on the side of the road, and Ginny drives the rest of the way to the animal shelter.
Ginny: Charley, Cap, this is my friend Chelsea Staley. She's the executive director of the Kanawha-Charleston Humane Association, and she's here to tell us why it's a good time to adopt a cat.
Chelsea Staley: Without adopters many more cats would be euthanized. They are low-maintenance pets compared to dogs; they tend to be independent and don't require the time and energy as a dog.
Cap: Excuse me, I don't think that's very ...
Charley: All right. Well, meow I'm on board.
Cap: I cannot even believe this.
Charley: But what cat are we going to get? And what should we name our new cat? And aren't we going to need some new panels where the cat gets to say something witty?
Chelsea: You should consider an adult cat or a black cat because they are the least likely to be adopted. Black cats also tend to have wonderful personalities.
Cap: I quit.
Ginny: I thought we'd get some help from the readers. They've always been there for us before. We'll let them know in a few weeks what our new cat is called.
Charley: I can't wait!
Cap: I'm speechless.
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If you want to help us name our new cat, send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org or a quick note to:
The Charleston Daily Mail
1001 Virginia Street East
Charleston, WV 25311
We'll let you know in a few weeks what our new cat is called.