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The Food Guy: Little Food Dudes are gunning for my job

Courtesy: Steven Keith Nine-year-old Luke Potters penned a culinary review that impressed The Food Guy.
Courtesy: Steven Keith A hibachi restaurant review written by future food dude Luke Potters.

It’s bad enough that I have to fend off my own three boys, constantly threatening to one day replace me as “The Food Guy.” But now I have other little dudes after my job as well?

I better step up my game.

Friend Annie Price said she was recently going through some of her son’s school papers and found a handwritten “review” of a recent meal out.

“Hibachi is a great place to get food,” wrote nearly 9-year-old Luke Potters, a student at Kenna Elementary School. “When you go in, you will think you are in heaven.”

Talk about a great first impression!

“While they serve your food they do tricks for you. My favorite trick is the onion volcano,” he said. “There are a few appetizers you might like. The salad comes with a few dressings, onions, lettuce and carrots. The soup has wonderful broth and has noodles with onions in it. Another appetizer is sushi. My sister says it is very good.”

Some of my favorite comments in the paragraphs that followed:

“The mushrooms are extremely good and the zucchini (spelled correctly, The Food Guy might add) tastes just like the mushrooms.”

“The fried rice is really good and it fills me up. It is healthy with the iron from the eggs in the rice.”

And the best lines of all:

“The noodles are a side,” he wrote, “and even though I have not tried them they smell pretty good. They look like white worms but they are not disgusting.”

Little Luke went on with even more good observations — including a hearty promise that “if you try Hibachi, you will be going there for every occasion” — but I had to stop reading. Too much competition!

In all seriousness, though, I did immediately invite him to join me on my next restaurant review. So stay tuned in the coming weeks for Luke and Steven’s recommendation on where you should dine out next.

▪ ▪ ▪

Another young fan, a 13-year-old from John Adams Middle School, also fancies himself a future foodie and even asked for my help getting published.

Mission accomplished.

The following article on “How to Make Clementine Bread” was written by my buddy Thomas J. Hemsworth, which, he stressed, is exactly how his byline should read. Steven J. Keith loves that.

How to Make Clementine Bread

Hello readers of the Charleston Gazette-Mail! My name is Thomas J. Hemsworth. First I would like to thank Steven Keith for publishing this article, and all of the readers of the Charleston Gazette-Mail for reading it.

The first step to making Clementine Bread is you will need the following ingredients. You will need all-purpose flour, cane sugar, milk, eggs, vanilla, and finally clementines. Read the following steps and do them exactly as I tell you.

First, get out a baking pan. Second, preheat oven to 430 degrees. Third, put 1 cup of flour into your big mixing bowl, then add ½ cup of sugar to the bowl with the flour. Then add ½ cup of milk to the ingredients, then add two eggs to the ingredients, then add six clementines to the ingredients.

(I presume we peel and chop them, Thomas?)

After you do all of that, mix until all of the ingredients are mixed all together then pour every last bit of the batter you can into the baking pan. Then place the baking pan into the oven already preheated to 430 degrees. Set the timer for 45 minutes and wait.

When you hear the timer go off, take the pan out of the oven. Finally, your hard work has paid off and you can now eat and share a delicious and sweet Clementine bread with anyone.

Once again, I am Thomas J. Hemsworth and thank you for reading the article. Nice work, Thomas. Can’t wait to make this at home!

Steven Keith writes a weekly food column for the Charleston Gazette-Mail and an occasional food blog at blogs.wvgazettemail.com/foodguy. He can be reached at 304-380-6096 or by email at wvfoodguy@aol.com. You can also follow him on Facebook as “WV Food Guy” and on Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest as “WVFoodGuy.”

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