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Let’s face it. There are enough external critics in the world – without having to listen to that voice inside your head.

And, while most of us want to learn, grow and improve our lives, this can become a slippery slope. If you never stop to take stock of where you are – and appreciate all the things you’ve accomplished – you’ll always be yearning. And putting more and more pressure on yourself.

Is Your Life in Order?

I’m venturing most of you would answer “no” to this question. That was certainly my first response.

If so, I’d have my home and office completely organized. Not to mention those digital photos! And I’d be caught up on all projects.

There’s the rub. Life is continually evolving, and there will always be new projects and new challenges. Thank goodness!

The key is to feel a sense of satisfaction and completion as you go along – instead of obsessing over everything that hasn’t gotten done. This applies to both the work front and the home front – and, especially, when dealing with people on all fronts.

I heard a powerful concept a while back from psychologist and minister Sky Kershner. He explained that the answer to the question of whether your life is in Divine Order – or not – depends on whether you’re coming from the perspective of your soul or your ego.

Our egos want to manage and control our lives to make them “perfect.” Our souls allow the world to be as it is. If you can’t see the Divine Order in your life right now, you’re looking through the lens of your ego.

This has provided some stimulating fodder for me as I take my dog, Zoey, on walks. What lens am I looking through?

But I’m Not a Control Freak

Which brings up the dance between being proactive with goals – and obsessing too much over the details.

  • Should I call one more time – just to make sure?
  • Maybe I need to send another follow up email.
  • What’s taking so long on this project?
  • I really need to prod them along.
  • I know my way is better. If they’d just listen.

Sometimes it may be hard for you to realize the world doesn’t revolve around your timetable. Here’s a handy tool to use when you find yourself at these crossroads:

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“I’ve set my intention – and applied my attention. Now it’s time to release the tension.”

Acknowledging that you’ve done all you can do – and being okay with that – will free up the energy you’re inadvertently blocking by second guessing your actions. Of course, there’s some subjectivity that comes with “doing everything you can do.”

“Houston, We Have a Problem”In today’s world of technology, messages aren’t always received. So, you may want to resend a particular message if you haven’t received a response in a reasonable amount of time.

And that brings up another point of interpretation: a “reasonable” amount of time. Unless something is very urgent, you may want to give it a few days to compensate for your recipient’s travel schedule, time zone challenges, etc.

Persistence is a virtue — to a certain point. If you come on too strong, you can appear controlling or desperate. And that’s not your intention at all.

Emotional Toolbox

Releasing the tension over an outcome opens up the path to discovery. You may learn legitimate reasons for the delays. Or a different outcome could result.

Here’s another tool from the emotional toolbox:

“This – or something better – will manifest.”

And along comes another subjective phrase: “something better.” Just because you can’t control all the circumstances in a given situation doesn’t mean the outcome will be diminished. You may even be limiting yourself by holding on too tightly to a specific outcome.

Remind yourself that your life is in order – in the present moment. And that’s where the power comes from to move forward.

Easier said than done, for sure. I’ve found I can have much more peace in my life, though, when I follow the Intention/Attention/Release the Tension formula. Try it on for yourself the next time you feel antsy about a situation that seems to be in limbo.

Maybe it’s not in limbo at all – it’s just simmering. A friend of mine from Louisiana talks about an important element in Cajun cooking. You have to get the roux (broth) just right. You can’t rush it.

So, turn down that pressure cooker on yourself!

©2022 Linda Arnold Live Life Fully, all rights reserved. Linda Arnold, M.A., M.B.A., is a syndicated columnist, psychological counselor and founder of a multistate marketing company. Reader comments are welcome at For information on her books, go to or

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