Powerball. Mega Millions. Billion-dollar jackpots, with a “b.” Like the one a few weeks ago.
It’s fun to get caught up in the “what if” frenzy that sweeps across our country from time to time. And to imagine what you’d do with all that money.
What’s even healthier is to look at the mental list you composed if you were to win — and break it down.
The envelope, please
The top five desires in most surveys of would-be winners are:
- Quit my job
- Pay off my house, car, debts
- Travel the world
- Help my relatives
- Give to charity
While it’s true that a billion-dollar jackpot would accelerate these goals, it’s also true you don’t have to win the lottery to take steps toward your dreams.
Whew – that’s a relief when you look at the odds of winning!
Peeling the onion
Despite all the material things that first come to mind while pondering a lottery jackpot payoff, what we’re really seeking is the feeling or experience that comes from those items.
“Peeling the Onion” is an exercise I did years ago at a seminar that continues to provide insights for me today. Here’s how it works. Two people sit opposite each other. One person continually repeats the same question, “What do you want?” The responder keeps chipping away with different answers until the underlying desire is uncovered.
What do you want?
A red Ferrari.
What do you want?
The performance and speed that comes with driving a Ferrari
What do you want?
The thrill
What do you want?
The freedom
What do you want?
Adventure
Bingo! After “peeling the onion,” the seminar attendee actually discovered what he yearned for was more adventure in his life. This didn’t have to come in the form of a red Ferrari. He started talking about all kinds of ways to incorporate more adventure into his life – without having to spend a couple hundred thousand dollars.
So often we put external labels on things we think will bring us happiness. And then we get depressed if they seem out of reach. Yet, when we “chunk it down,” it’s not those items at all. It’s the experience or feeling that lies underneath.
As humans, we’re quick to adapt to new circumstances. So yesterday’s “shiny object” – the award, fancy car, exciting new relationship – starts to fade. A new normal sets in. And we end up wanting more.
The Three Bs
I’ve found through my research over the years that most all of us want three things out of life:
- To be-lieve
- To be-long
- To be loved
And these are all “inside jobs.” They can’t be sustained by external objects. And money is not the single answer.
Just ask any of those folks undergoing chemotherapy or treatments for life-threatening illnesses or accidents. And those who have come out the other side with a much greater appreciation for the “little things in life” that are often taken for granted. And end up bringing about the most happiness.
Lottery luresHaving said that, the lure of the lottery is strong. To put things into perspective — and balance out the euphoria — here are the top five liabilities of winning:
- Your friends will take advantage
- Your relationship could fail
- You’ll have an increased risk of bankruptcy
- You’ll have to fight off a host of long-lost family members
- You’ll be a target for lawsuits and scams
Lottery winners/losers
No doubt you’ve heard some of the devastating stories about lottery winners. Their American dreams actually turned into nightmares. Not only did they lose their money, but also in lots of cases they lost much more — friendships, family relationships and freedom.
In Texas, Billie Bob Harrell Jr. won a $31 million jackpot, according to The Atlantic. At first, all was great. Harrell purchased a ranch. He bought a half-dozen homes for himself and other family members. He, his wife and all the kids got new cars. He made large contributions to his church. If members of the congregation needed help, Billie Bob was there with cash in hand.
Then Harrell discovered his life was unraveling as quickly as it had come together. Everyone, it seemed – family, friends, fellow worshipers and strangers – was putting the touch on him. His spending and lending spiraled out of control, and those tensions splintered his already strained marriage. Twenty months after winning the lottery, Harrell committed suicide.
Jack Whittaker of West Virginia won more than $300 million. He had hundreds of thousands of dollars stolen, was sued multiple times and suffered the loss of his granddaughter to a drug overdose, and later lost his daughter. Whittaker has been quoted as saying, “I wish I’d torn that ticket up.”
Sour grapes?
You could say these stories just serve to rationalize things and soothe our feelings about not winning. Of course, you would handle things differently. And that may be true.
What’s also true is that you’ll likely need to go into hiding – or, at least, have your affairs handled initially through attorneys, accountants and financial advisors. You’ll probably need to change your phone number – and address. Don’t make rash decisions, and trust no one.
The three Bs
Remember those three Bs from earlier? Those things we all want: to be-lieve; to be-long; to be loved. If you have to go into isolation, it’s pretty hard to belong. And you could get mixed signals about what to believe in – and whether you’re truly loved for yourself or your money.
Kitchen Aid
Go ahead and peel your own onion. Dreaming of what you’d do if you won the lottery is a helpful exercise. And, once you peel off the layers, you may just find it doesn’t take a billion dollars to move in the direction of your dreams.
Caution: You may end up with tears. Of joy.
