Rhetorical highlights from Gov. Jim Justice’s long-running series of COVID-19 press briefings:
Old reliables
n “In any way, shape, form or fashion.”
n “It’s clear as mud.”
n “You’re dadgummed if you do, and you’re dadgummed if you don’t.”
n “One robin doesn’t make it spring.”
n “No frog that’s not proud of his pond is much of a frog.”
n “If you can’t get it done in 24 hours, you gotta work nights.”
n “If it’s working, don’t fix it.”
Geography
n “West Virginia has got border states all around it.”
n “We don’t have an ocean two-thirds around us like Texas.”
Eggs
n “Don’t count the cows’ legs and divide by four. Count the egg-sucking cows.”
n “How would you like your eggs, fried or scrambled? The answer is always yes.”
n “You’re not going to find any eggs in the egg hunt if there’s no eggs out there.”
n “We can’t have a food fight over something as simple as this egg-sucking mask.”
Food
n “We’re in a race with the Idaho taters, and we absolutely don’t want the taters to beat us.”
n “She’s like a big, giant, brown watermelon.” (Describing Babydog.)
Firearms
n “Why in the world would I blow my foot off if I have no idea if it will help at all?”
n “The only bullet we have in the gun at this time is just one of two things.”
Deep thoughts
n “I’m going to misspeak on this, but I’m going to give you my best thoughts.”
n “The dark in the closet is always a little scary.”
n “They call it politics, but it’s just children in the sandbox.”
n “I’ve said it over and over, we had to kill a deer every day in school to feed the kids.”
n “Everyone who has said all those bad things about West Virginia, I absolutely want to rub it in their face.”
All-time fave
n “If you want to go to Bob Evans and eat, go to Bob Evans and eat.” (Said one day before he ordered the shutdown of bars and indoor dining at restaurants.)
